Most models of social behaviour on the Internet are technologically determinist in that aspects of the media are argued to influence behaviour, usually through the inter-mediation of psychological states. For instance, visual anonymity might be predicted to lead to reduced social desirability through changes in public and/or private self-awareness, the salience of social identities or even de-individuation. However, there is also evidence that people choose to use media strategically and in a motivated manner - depending on their expectations of an interaction outcome, their personality, gender and the motives and social identifications salient at the time of Internet use. In this paper, a framework (termed ‘Strategic and Motivated user, Expected and Emergent effects’ or SMEE) is proposed for understanding the interaction of the user and the media in everyday Internet use. The SMEE framework proposes that the initial strategy, motives and characteristics of the user determines media choice. However, the ensuing media use leads to both expected (i.e. predicted by the user) and emergent effects, which in turn feedback to the user through the process of interaction. Empirical evidence on self-disclosing communication is used to examine SMEE. First, it is shown that when self-presentation (and self-protection) needs are high, people will tend to seek to use low bandwidth media. Second, one emergent effect of low bandwidth (i.e. text-only) communication, heightened self-disclosure, is demonstrated in a series of studies. Finally, implications of SMEE for understanding social desirability and self-disclosure online are discussed.